If gutters could mate with trash bins their offspring would be bike messengers. I recently had the wonderful experience of having a biker messenger run a red light right in front of me and than after I honked my horn he flipped me "the bird". I asked myself, why would someone in the wrong feel the need to make it seem as if it was my fault? I'll tell you why, cause they are the scum of the earth. On a daily basis bike messagner weave in and out of traffic with no regard for the safety of others around them. (Not to mention their desregard for the paint on the hood of my bad-ass Mercury Sable. ) Is it wrong that I wish I would have hurt this fellow the other day? That maybe my car would have caught his back tire sending him and his "contracts" flying? Is that wrong of me to want to turn my car around and follow after him, only to throw pennies at him as he peddals toward a worthless future?

Now I know bike messagners, and bike riders in general have it rough in a big city. I know this because I have a bike and love riding it, but I obey the rules of the road. Red light means stop. One way streets are for a reason. If you don't do it in your car, don't do it on a bike.

Another reason I don't like them is that they make the elavator in my building smell like a hockey locker room. Take the stairs, Mr. Schwin! You obvisouly like to exercise!

To all bike messengers out there ITT Tech is a great alternative. Look into it.

Next week: Why I hate the internal cumbustion engine.