Thursday, June 30, 2005


I case you haven't heard the latest news to come from the Windy City, I am about to spell it all out for you. The City Council of Chicago has banned the sale of marijuana flavored candy within city limits. This includes lollipops, gumdrops, and other confections that use hemp-oil and label them as "marijuana flavored".

"I can't imagine the degree and the extent to which people will go to make a buck -- and to make a buck on kids, trying to get them to experiment with something that is going to be a lead-in to the use of marijuana," said Alderman Edward Burke, who sponsored the measure.

My question to you is, Who the hell likes the taste of hemp? Do you like the smell that fills your house when you boil a pipe to get it clean? When was the last time you put a marijuana stem in your mouth? I can tell you when I did, 1996. My friend, "Gutter Head" had just got done mixing bags of brick weed and dried lawn clippings from my parents mulch pile in order to rip neigborhoos kids off. He handed me a stem and said, "Here suck on this. My mom says these are great for getting the crystal meth taste out your mouth". So I tried one......it wasn't so great. That was the first and only time I tried the taste of pot. In researching this story, I found that Gutter Head is the CEO and Founder of Dank-Pops. It's been a long time since we talked, but I can assume his life turned out much differently then mine.

In all seriousness, these candies aren't marketed towards little kids. They are marketed at white trash, welfare-folk, and those with no self-worth. The skinny white chick with four kids, no job, and a nose ring that you see on Springer is most likely the same person who is going to buy a weed flavored sucker while swinging through 7/11 to purchase her daily pregnancy test. Why would they buy it? Cause there is some warped part of their brain that thinks smoking pot is really cool, and that sucking pot flavored candy is just a tad below that on the "cool meter".

I can't wait until they come out with PCP flavored gummy worms.